Chinese Dr. Wisdom or Chain Mail? Hard to Say.

I received my first Chinese Chain email!  I think it was a chain mail… it is difficult to say for sure for there are many different beliefs in China from Western countries. In Western countries often are rooted in science and studies, we want proof. Here, not so much, tradition rules beliefs.  There is a belief cold water/drinks is not good for you. I think this one came from the need to boil water in China and thousands of years ago it was communicated that cold water is bad (bacteria) and hot water is good (bad things killed) and that belief  has been passed down for centuries and why warm drinks are preferred. That is my theory anyway.

A Western high school teacher (17 & 18 year olds) told me her class is obsessed with playing basketball. That is because playing basketball makes you tall because all basketball players are tall. Seriously, they were not punking her this is what they believe.

Like this email… if I was in the US, I would think chain mail and giggle. Being in China there could be some actual truth in the beliefs and I actually like some of the ways of thinking.

The alleged wise Dr

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?  Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?   Hay and corn. And what are these?  Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of  delivering vegetables to your  system. Need grain? Eat chicken.   Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of  vegetable products.

Q: Should  I reduce my alcohol intake?  
A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from  fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to  one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise  program?
A: Can’t  think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q:  Aren’t  fried  foods bad for you?
A:  Foods are fried these days in  vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft  around  the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?  
A:  Are you crazy? Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?  
A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?  
A:   Round is a shape!

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. E.MORGAN
    Dec 05, 2011 @ 09:02:13

    I LIKE HIS WAY OF THINKING!

    Reply

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